The Purpose Paradox

The Purpose Paradox

Blog Article

Why does a hospice doctor with a passion for personal finance write about purpose? This is a question I hear often. It might seem like an unusual combination, but the reason I write and talk about purpose is rooted in the profound lessons I’ve learned from my hospice patients. These are people who are actively dying, yet they’ve taught me some of the most valuable lessons about life—and money.

One of the biggest takeaways I’ve learned is this: We should put purpose first and build our financial framework around it. This insight was at the heart of my book, Taking Stock, and when I went out to share this message with audiences big and small, something unexpected happened.

The Pushback on Purpose

 

After my talks, many people were inspired by the idea of putting purpose at the center of their lives. But, every once in a while, someone would come up to me, visibly frustrated—sometimes even angry.

They would say something like, “You keep telling me to find my purpose. I’ve been searching for my purpose forever, and I don’t know what it is. I don’t think I even have one. Please stop telling me to find my purpose!”

These encounters left me scratching my head. Why would something so universally celebrated—this idea of having a purpose—cause such frustration? Isn’t purpose supposed to be a good thing?

The Research: Purpose and Its Benefits

Curious to understand this better, I dove into the research, and what I found was fascinating.

A 2019 study published in JAMA Network Open showed that having a stronger sense of purpose is associated with decreased overall mortality and a lower risk of dying from heart, circulatory, and blood disorders.

Similarly, a 2021 study using data from the U.S. Health and Retirement Study found that people with a strong sense of purpose had:

 

• a 24 percent lower likelihood of becoming physically inactive.

 

• a 33 percent lower likelihood of developing sleep problems.

 

• a 22 percent lower risk of being overweight.

 

Finally, a study by Roback and Griffin involving 118 college students found a strong positive relationship between purpose in life and happiness. Students with a greater sense of purpose reported higher levels of happiness and lower levels of depression.

The message was clear: Having a sense of purpose contributes to health, happiness, and longevity.

The Dark Side: Purpose Anxiety

But here’s the paradox: Alongside these studies, I came across other research, like a study by Larissa Rainey, which found that up to 91 percent of people experience what’s called “purpose anxiety" at some point in their lives. This term describes the anxiety, frustration, and even depression that people feel when they can’t figure out what their purpose is.

So here we are: On one hand, having purpose is linked to a longer, healthier, and happier life. On the other hand, the search for purpose can lead to stress, sadness, and a sense of inadequacy. How can purpose be both a solution and a problem?

The Two Types of Purpose

What I realized is that we, as a society, often get purpose wrong. We tend to think of it as one monolithic concep but, in reality, it’s not. Purpose can be broken down into two distinct types:

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